YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

On April 8 of this year, Twitter users were offered a rare opportunity when Mao Sugiyama, a Japanese chef living in Tokyo who describes himself as "asexual", tweeted the following: "[Please Retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen [$1,250]. I’m Japanese. The organs were surgically removed at age 22. I was tested to be free of venereal diseases. The organs were of normal function. I was not receiving female hormone treatment. The length at full erection was 16.1 cm [6.3 inches]. First interested buyer will get them, or I will also consider selling to a group. Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location. If you have questions, please contact me by DM or e-mail.”

MAO SUGIYAMA: ASEXUAL CHEF TAKING FINE DINING TO A (STRANGE) NEW LEVEL

Sugiyama reportedly tweeted the offer after first considering consuming his own genitals after having them removed on his birthday. Asked why, he told reporters that having his genitals removed and eating them was his way of showing that he didn't identify with either gender. His tweet created such a stir that he decided to organize a public banquet in Tokyo at which five (lucky?) guests where charged $250 each for the privilege of dining on Sugiyama's penis, testicles, and scrotum skin, the severed parts adorned with tastefully arranged helpings of button mushrooms and parsley. An additional 70 guests had to content themselves with servings of crocodile. So, what did the five lucky diners think about their once-in-a-lifetime meal? "It was chewy...and a little bland," one of them told a reporter.

ENTREE FROM BEYOND THE PALE: MAO SUGIYAMA'S GENITAL ORGANS. ACCORDING TO DINNER GUESTS, THEY DIDN'T TASTE LIKE CHICKEN.

Despite the unorthodox (some might say horrific) nature of the meal, Japanese authorities say that Sugiyama can't be charged with anything because there is no law in Japan against cannibalism. Sugiyama is currently in the process of starting female hormone therapy, although he says he has no plans to undergo gender reassignment surgery. Instead, he hopes to remain as asexual as possible, so much so that, one day, he will be able to wear transparent clothing.

My take on it? I hope Sugiyama at least had the good sense to serve saki.

Sayanora....from beyond the pale.